Day 6:  Take a Look

IMG_8810Yesterday, we had a rather educational explanation of the internal clitoris, shared by Betty Dodson. Today we are going to have a self-exploration of our intimate landscape, inside and out. This is one of our more in-depth exercises, and you will need to set aside some personal time in order to really connect to the energy of your yoni.

Our yoni is made up of many parts. The word yoni is sanskrit and in literal translation means “sacred space.” Not only does this word bring a sacredness to our terminology, but it also refers to all of our sacred bits: clitoris, inner and outer lips, vaginal canal, and all the rest.

I invite you to begin the activity portion of this lesson by first repeating the “chakra dusting” exercise I demonstrated in the Day 3 video.


Thought for the Day:

Take a Look

IMG_1683If you were shown a series of photographs of only hands, you would, quite likely, be able to find your own. If you were shown a series of feet, you would also be able to find your own. But if you were shown a series of photographs of yonis, would you be able to tell yours from the crowd?

I believe that knowing your yoni is key to finding your pleasure. If you don’t know your own yoni and how your particular yoni works, it will be exceedingly difficult for you to be able to guide your lover into pleasing you in your favorite ways, or in knowing how to care and please yourself.

Every woman is wired a little differently – seriously – we are like sensual snowflakes. No two are wired or work in the same way. And, along those same lines, every yoni looks very, very different.

Knowing your own yoni can be both liberating and informative. But more importantly, it is the portal to our deepest wisdom, our inner knowing, the Divine Feminine, and our place of power, purpose and core essence.


For this next exercise, you will need the following:

  • A hand-held mirror and something to lean it on. (It is great if you can find a small but freestanding mirror.)
  • A candle (or two or three)
  • A towel
  • A private/locked room of your own. (If privacy is an issue, bathrooms work great for this practice. Tell your housemates you’re taking a bath.) If you can be in front of your altar, that’s fabulous too.
  • While you’re at it, grab a cup of tea (or another drink you enjoy) and perhaps some coconut oil (or other lube-type substance that is good for yonis).

candles-435410__180Start by washing your hands. If you use soap, be sure to rinse your hands extremely well. Yonis do not like soap!

Once you’ve sequestered yourself and your supplies away in your room, lay out your towel in a way that you can sit on the towel and lean comfortably up against a wall. Light the candles, turn down the lights, and place one candle on the towel in front of your yoni. Spread your legs apart and hold the mirror in a way that you can see the outside of your yoni.

Proceed slowly. Slower. Slower still. Slower.

Begin by simply looking at the outside of your yoni. Really take in all the detail. How many different things do you see?

After spending time looking at the outside, it is now time to take your own “yoni tour.” If you need to actually hold the mirror, you can do this tour with one hand. But if possible, prop your mirror or find a free-standing one. (I prefer using two hands.) Start by slowly opening up the outer lips of your yoni. These are called the “labia majora.” These outermost lips go from the very top of the outside of your vagina, all the way down to the bottom, and they are a sort of protector of all the softer, squishier insides. Take some time to explore these “outer lips.” Squeeze them, pull them, and test their sensitivity, texture and flexibility. Notice how your pubic hair feels (or doesn’t feel) on the outside of these lips.The pubic hair acts as an “antenna” to touch. What do you experience when you lightly brush against your pubic hair?

IMG_1496Next, let’s move inward toward your “labia minor.” These are your “inner lips.” You will notice they are softer, wetter, and far more malleable and stretchy. All are diversely shaped. What do you notice about the unique shape of your inner lips? Is one longer than the other? Are they lacy around the edges, or flat? How do they connect to the outer lips? How do they connect to the inside of the vaginal opening? What type of response do you get when you gently pull them or squeeze them?

Now let’s take a look at the clitoris. This is the little pea-shaped organ at the very top, where the inner and outer lips meet. Some clitorises are “hooded” and hidden entirely beneath a sheath of flesh. If yours has a full hood, you can pull back that skin to reveal the very sensitive and soft flesh of your clit. Explore here awhile – your clitoris is truly one-of-a-kind!

While we are at this sweet spot, here are a few interesting clitoral facts:

  • The clitoris has 8000 nerve endings – more than any other organ in your body.
  • The clitoris never gets sick! No cancer, no atrophy, nothing.
  • The clitoris is purely for pleasure and appears to have no other physical benefit (although pleasure is arguably a necessity for a fulfilling life).
  • The clitoris has roots that reach back from the beginning point that is visible, and deeply wind into the pelvic floor and even into the vagina itself. These nerves are directly connected to your internal “sacred spot” or “G-spot” (more on that later).

beauty-743371__180This is a good time to dip your finger (or two) into that coconut oil and give yourself a bit of an outer yoni massage. Because we are going slowly in this exploration, you may find it more comfortable to keep this area moist. As you are applying the oil (or lube) to your lips and clitoris, go slowly and explore the feelings that come along with your touch. Notice what the clitoris feels, or doesn’t feel, when the lips are moved. Keep your touch soothing and gentle. As you touch yourself in this most delicate area, you may want to repeat to yourself, “I give myself loving and pleasurable touch, and honor my heart and yoni connection.”

Daily Contemplation:

What is thy mouth to me?
A cup of sorrowful incense,
A tree of keen leaves,
An eager high ship,
A quiver of superb arrows.

What is thy breast to me?
A flower of new prayer,
A poem of firm light,
A well of cool birds,
A drawn bow trembling.

What is thy body to me?
A theatre of perfect silence,
A chariot of red speed;
And O, the dim feet
Of white-maned desires!

~E.E. Cummings

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